Oh Boy Do I Hate Titusville

Talent Show Tryouts Today
Last year Mr. C was in charge of them and he was awesome and extremely helpful in critiquing our band ( Click Here To Hear us. We're called Waking Nixon ) and always sided with me in internal band issues. This year some stupid idiot lady is in charge and she sucks. I don't even think she knows anything about music (Drama Teacher) as opposed to Mr. C who happens to be a musical genius. I've disliked her since day one of Freshman year. She started giving us crap as soon as she read our lyrics. That was a new thing this year. You had to submit any lyrics you used so they could be censored by her. Sound like anyone? I'll give you a hint. Their initials are Adolf Hitler. We have a song about speaking out and there's a line about drinking bleach, but read in context, it is clearly metaphor, but she gave us crap about that and considered it violent (Violent? Maybe suicidal even though it's not.) Then afterward she was like, "What kind of music is this?" We consider ourselves post-punk/punk, but we just tell people that don't know anything alternative. People started saying we were hardcore when she asked. First off, hardcore is an adjective that needs to be followed by a noun. Second, there is no second. Third, we are not remotely hardcore at all. Then she decided we were psychobilly. I for some reason don't think she even knows remotely what she's talking about. The best thing, though, was Seany Chanfield played a song on uke that was the best thing on Earth. So onto the story I have.

My Life Is Jon Beever
So John (our lead singer) came home with me and we just jammed and played an awesome cover of Jawbreaker's Bivouac which we thought was impossible and wrote an awesome song about the most intriguing person in the world who we just call Neckbeard. After we finished we were going to write a song about how bad Titusville sucked, So John started messing around and played Baribeau when he suddenly remembered he left his backpack at school. It was 6:30 so we went as fast as possible and every door was locked except one. We went in and all 50 (estimate for 3 teams of them) girl's basketball players, their families, coaches, sponsors, and all those affiliated were having some type of award ceremony. Once the door shut, everyone just stared at us. It was so unnerving. I guess John got scared so he ran to the stairs which were 50 feet away and I yelled, "John! You look too suspicious!" I think that just made things worse though. So when we got upstairs there was like a janitor waiting for us with her arms kind of outward like we just deeply offended her and this nasty snarl on her face. We just asked if the chorus room was unlocked and she said something stupid so we ran toward the chorus room. Someone literally left the door wide-open. We just walked in and got John's backpack and ran out of the school. That's how bad the security is. We could have stolen all the instruments and speakers and no one would have known. It was intense.

Moral Of The Story
If you have to steal something, my school is a good place to try.

German Denial

In Lieu Of Biology Homework
Matt and Celia and Celia's German exchange student Karina came over. The Germans are mostly pretty cool except the guys usually suck because they steal all the girls for two weeks and insult our crappy town, but I guess the second thing isn't so bad. Also I don't like how they're referred to as commodities. Like, "Dude! My German comes in tomorrow!" "Sweet, Dude! I got two Germans!" "Wanna trade me?" Anyway Karina was probably the best one. I thought this one with really short shorts was the best one because I liked her short shorts, but Karina told me she's a bitch. So anyway, on to the story part, which will be known as My Life Is Jon Beever.

My Life Is Jon Beever
So I was pretty convinced Karina was into me on multiple occasions. Today was their last day in the states so if I was going to do anything it would be today. (Like confess my love (that's a joke(witz(german for joke)))) So we were 'flirting' (hate that word) and whatnot and I leaned across this counter/island thing in my kitchen and asked, "Who do you miss most from Germany?" and she spouted back, "My boyfriend." Needless to say, I was quite flabbergasted. Obviously she wasn't as into as I had predicted. I should have known, though, because if a girl asks to borrow my pass book I'm pretty convinced she's into me. Clearly my judgment is very inaccurate. Then to make things worse, when it was time for them to go, I was like, "I'll never see you again!" Just being over dramatic as a joke because that makes her laugh. Matt told her to kiss me goodbye, and in my head I was like SWEET! but then it was ruined when she said, "Him or the dog?" I was like, "How is that even a debate?! Of course me!" Clearly she did not want to, but its all good.

Moral Of The Story
Whenever there are German exchange students, kiss first, ask questions later...except the guys. Leave those ones alone, ladies.

Also, this is what I was up against for the kiss:

In Lieu Of Math Homework

For years I have wasted many potentially productive hours on Myspace. Now Myspace is dying and all of my friends are trying to convince me to get a Facecrook, (because it steals my friends. (I'll explain jokes sometimes solely for my own satisfaction; not at all because I believe my readers are dumb)) but I won't because I have a mental problem that won't let me do what everyone says is cool. So I wondered what I was going to do tonight, because I've had it with myspace, and I can't start my math homework until at least midnight, because procrastination makes me do a better job. Freud would call that projection. Don't call me an elitist because I'm squeezing in a Freud reference. I just had to write a personality analysis (On Jeffery Lebowski a.k.a. The Dude) and so all this Psycho (-logy. I like leaving off the logy. (Sorry if the parentheses are annoying, but I'm just trying to clarify stuff for my first post.)) stuff is fresh on my mind. Tangent. So I'm starting this blog to at least be a little introspective and maybe practice typing (I'm miserable at it) so I can start saying I did something productive with my life and didn't read: "This weekend was amazing :) Now I'm gonna have to cram an entire book into tonight and tom. morning :O oh gawd." The girl is really pretty, but until she returns my texts and accepts my date invitation I care zero of her book cramming. I guess I'll try to keep this first one concise (If it already isn't) by just posting a story of my life. I guess I'll make up a segment name. How about:

My Life Is Jon Beever
so...Hang on. How do you turn off bold....test. Ok got it. (I like typing my inner thunkings)
So today I hung out with Rapechel and Seany Chanfield. We went to Target and I saw Celia and her German. BORING. So Sean was driving us back to Rachel's house because my bike was there and Rachel lives there and it was go home time. I thought it would be really funny to drive with the doors open, because I think everything is funny. So going down the road I opened the door and closed it as fast as I could over and over and this Big truck (probably redneck) behind us started tailgating us and turned on his brights. We were like, "What the Eff?" We turned onto Rapechel's street and they followed us. Then they promptly sped up and passed us on a no pass road. It was quite odd. So then we followed them, but gave up when they got to their house.

One time this kid flicked us off in the school parking lot and he had on oakleys and was a badass so we followed him in his douchey Mustang with the horizontal tail lights (bad decision, Ford) and he thought he lost us and I guess he did, but I knew where he lived. So we just went to his house and he had just shut his trunk when we turned the corner. Once he spotted us he looked like he had seen a ghost and ran as fast as he could inside. It was awesome. We scared a "badass".

I guess..WTF how did bold come back... There we go. As I was saying, I guess I think following people is funny. That's the moral of the story. I'm going to make that a segment

Moral
Following people in cars is funny.